My name is Lexi.

dotingdamen:

when my dad moved away from home he needed a place to live, so he went to look at this one potential apartment. the only questions the landlady asked him were where he was born and when. when my dad told her, the landlady pulled out this huuuge astrology chart book. she looked at it for a long time in silence and finally said, “acceptable”

ladyshinga:

I used to think the idea of aliens having human zoos was horrifying but honestly if a bunch of aliens want to watch me sit and watch Netflix all day in a cozy little environment where I don’t have to pay for rent or food and they have human-specialist doctors on hand as needed, IDK, like. I’d be all right with it.

(via illuminati-maggie)

phantom-of-the-keurig:

dailyjackiechan:

I won’t

(via illuminati-maggie)

duessaherself:

duessaherself:

duessaherself:

When I’m reincarnated, I want to come back as a bookstore cat.

Livin the life.

(via illuminati-maggie)

shiraglassman:

captainlordauditor:

date-a-jew-suggestions:

I made Gary (my gecko) a tiny Tallis and yarmulke for Rosh Hashanah and he wished u all happy new year

I’M VERY PROUD OF HIM PLEASE TELL HIM I LOVE HIM

bABY

(via illuminati-maggie)

romy7:

anarcho-shindouism:

it’s dangerous to go alone. take this

thanks

(via illuminati-maggie)